Wow, only a month later and I'm back. I wouldn't say procrastination played a part, but I definitely put this off for awhile. No real reason, just doin' "stuff". Today's entry is definitely in the teenage journal category, so brace yourself. What's today, October some-teenth? Well, my birthday's coming up and in spite of my efforts to turn around what's usually a day of general sucking, that ominous feeling's back...I''m going to Vegas after being invited by a friend but the trip's starting to look a little grim as I've discovered that a large group of friends will be going out in January for the same trip (sans me). Not a great feeling. Not that I have the money to go twice, but still, a little but of a sting to it. Then again I have to be fair in terms of levels of friendship, I suppose. Also, after a great deal of thought, I decided that this would be the year that I threw a little party for myself. It's always interesting to see who your friends really are, not just by the ones who respond, but by the ones who OPEN the invitation. Then there's the question of courtesy, RSVPing is how the hostess knows the amount of party material she needs to have on hand. I know that in the long run it will be fun if the right people come, but there's the aggravation and, frankly, embarrassment of being given the cold shoulder by folks you thought were your friends. I think what bugs me is the creeping thought that they're waiting to respond once they know what else is going on, in case there's something better for them to do than go to my birthday party. This, is why I never do this or make other plans for my birthday. The last time I gave in and agreed to meet people for drinks I paid my own tab and covered the shots.
So aaaall this crap inevitabley gets me to thinking about what kind of a friend I am. Maybe I'm more of a jerk and less of a pal than I think. I don't know, where's the line really? I mean, do I have to go to every event? Kiss everyone's ass, do whatever people want? Is it okay to be a pill once in awhile or is a smile and an open ear mandatory. I have one friend for whom numerous birthday bashes have been thrown and the invitees always show up. Always. This is someone who frequently craps out, is often depressed to the point of being depressing herself, yet is indeed the nicest person alive. Now I'm not the nicest person alive, but I'm not depressing, I'm dependable and I am on the whole a nice person, so I guess I don't quite get it.
The good news is, I'll get over this pretty quickly, will find a way to have fun in Vegas no matter what, and most importantly: WILL REMEMBER NOT TO DO THIS CRAP AGAIN NEXT YEAR. I think the key to the destination birthday (for me) is GOING ALONE.

Day One

Well this isn't really day one, but it is as far as the you're concerned so I'm going to stick with the title.

Just to get everyone up to speed, I'm 33 (soon to be 34) and just graduated with my BA in December of '08. I took the really, really, long route getting to university. On one hand, I recommend going to school when you're older for reasons of interest level and personal fulfillment, on the other, there is the issue of having to sit through classes with 17-21 year olds when  you're in your early thirties. While I'm sure this is probably a rather appealing idea for men in the latter age group (actually, they've told me so) it's sort of a double whammy for us ladies being that we're surrounded by teenage boys and, even worse, teenage girls.

Anyway, after working my ass off to get through with a decent GPA, I was greeted by the economic collapse and a more than slightly sketchy job market. After a few months of fruitless applications my parents decided that I should go to Grad school. I love my parents, but it's a weird feeling to know that they sit around and discuss various aspects of you and your life (I don't even want to know). When my dad brought up the idea, it didn't come accross as advice so much as a verdict.

Now I'm in the process of applying for Graduate studies and taking on the daunting tasks of preparing for the GRE and MAT's. I've been told by several people that the GRE is very similar to the SAT, which is quite a shame, because when I took the SAT is high school it was at a particular time in my life when my best friend and I had decided that the best thing to do after high school would move to California and be: bums. Yes, this was a plan. Needless to say, we didn't exactly take the test seriously and felt that it would be absolutley hilarious/brilliantly clever to make pictures using the little circles on the scantron answer form. I don't even know what our scores were, but I think I can make an educated guess. After explaining this to a friend, I was reassured with the information that "It's just a bunch of ÄP high school stuff". Again, a problem, as I was eventually asked to leave high school because...I didn't show up for most of 12th grade (they hadn't wised up to me in 11th). So that's where I am and what I'm doing right now.

That's it for now, just a rough overview. My life seems to revolve around the idea that "these things happen" and it's become an increasingly relevant mantra for me. Another favorite is "two weeks", if you've seen The Money Pit and/or own a home and have had to deal with contractors, then you know what it means. "These Things Happen" and "Two Weeks" actually work together quite nicely, take a peek at your own life and I'm sure you'll find plenty of areas/situation to which one or both can be applied